CHAPTER IV | SEVEN

I'm a b-boy building something. Mostly illustrating the inner cipher of my training these days.

Apr 13

Mar 23
SEVEN.01//
My first motivation was Machine. It wasn’t his speed, musicality or style. It was his infallibility. I am right. This is right.
He explained his dedication to breaking in an interview: “… If I tried to jump into four or five different things and try to put energy into ‘em … you can’t put your all into them so god is not gonna really put his all into you.”
Simple as that. This isn’t a pray-for-talent sort of thing—I’ve seen no god-external. And yet the closer I move to my heaven, the further it moves from my soul.
I have a propensity for self-destruction. Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I don’t really know.

SEVEN.01//

My first motivation was Machine. It wasn’t his speed, musicality or style. It was his infallibility. I am right. This is right.

He explained his dedication to breaking in an interview: “… If I tried to jump into four or five different things and try to put energy into ‘em … you can’t put your all into them so god is not gonna really put his all into you.”

Simple as that. This isn’t a pray-for-talent sort of thing—I’ve seen no god-external. And yet the closer I move to my heaven, the further it moves from my soul.

I have a propensity for self-destruction. Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I don’t really know.


Mar 9

Jan 25
15 || 12-01-2014

15 || 12-01-2014


Jan 22
14 || 11-01-2014
I started a bullet journal thanks to my cousin Chuck. http://youtu.be/GfRf43JTqY4. There’s only so much in my head that I can organize, but cheers to productivity.

14 || 11-01-2014

I started a bullet journal thanks to my cousin Chuck. http://youtu.be/GfRf43JTqY4. There’s only so much in my head that I can organize, but cheers to productivity.


Jan 21
13 || 10-01-2014
Banished to the hallway today. I get anxious waves during practice sometimes: I’m in the way, I’m a show off, I’m a distraction. It’s stupid, but it’s there. I should work on committing more to the inner movement. Then again, it’s good to absorb the environment and contextualize yourself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13 || 10-01-2014

Banished to the hallway today. I get anxious waves during practice sometimes: I’m in the way, I’m a show off, I’m a distraction. It’s stupid, but it’s there. I should work on committing more to the inner movement. Then again, it’s good to absorb the environment and contextualize yourself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Jan 20
12, 8/8 || 09-01-2014
When you start breaking, it’s physically demanding. Muscles you didn’t know about tear and expand, joints you never nurtured rotate more freely. With every movement you’re learning and relearning your body; awakening and harnessing an awareness of your limbs, you are improving. It’s like you start at the base of a mountain and to ascend is an easy decision. There is no sacrifice until there is something to lose.
I’m developing comfort in 2000s at the expense of my lower right palm. 
With each attempt I shuck skin from my palm, routinely burning passion in order to feel alive. But with each layer, another feeling dies; reaping beauty from soulful destruction, I’ll see you on the other side.

12, 8/8 || 09-01-2014

When you start breaking, it’s physically demanding. Muscles you didn’t know about tear and expand, joints you never nurtured rotate more freely. With every movement you’re learning and relearning your body; awakening and harnessing an awareness of your limbs, you are improving. It’s like you start at the base of a mountain and to ascend is an easy decision. There is no sacrifice until there is something to lose.

I’m developing comfort in 2000s at the expense of my lower right palm.

With each attempt I shuck skin from my palm, routinely burning passion in order to feel alive. But with each layer, another feeling dies; reaping beauty from soulful destruction, I’ll see you on the other side.


Jan 17
12, 7/? || 09-01-2014
After a couple years of flag football, I turned 7 years old and joined the tackle squad. I quit after the first scrimmage, haha, but at least I made a few plays.
I didn’t like being yelled at. It made me feel inferior, and with 70 kids, I was replaceable. Baseball, soccer, basketball, football—there was still an authority figure. There was a superior.

12, 7/? || 09-01-2014

After a couple years of flag football, I turned 7 years old and joined the tackle squad. I quit after the first scrimmage, haha, but at least I made a few plays.

I didn’t like being yelled at. It made me feel inferior, and with 70 kids, I was replaceable. Baseball, soccer, basketball, football—there was still an authority figure. There was a superior.


Jan 16
12, 6/? || 09-01-2014
“… It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment …”
-Merce Cunningham

12, 6/? || 09-01-2014

“… It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment …”

-Merce Cunningham


Jan 15
12, 5/? || 09-01-2014
The inkling came about a year ago at Perinton Park. I left the basketball court to get a drink from the fountain and a little shade. Every day alone and broke, I’m spinning in circles waiting for a future I’m not ready for; throwing myself at the floor waiting for a day I’m neither alone nor broke; neglecting my friends waiting for a success I’ll accept indifferently; staring in a mirror looking for an ego that I’ll inevitably reject.

12, 5/? || 09-01-2014

The inkling came about a year ago at Perinton Park. I left the basketball court to get a drink from the fountain and a little shade. Every day alone and broke, I’m spinning in circles waiting for a future I’m not ready for; throwing myself at the floor waiting for a day I’m neither alone nor broke; neglecting my friends waiting for a success I’ll accept indifferently; staring in a mirror looking for an ego that I’ll inevitably reject.


Jan 14
12, 4/? || 09-01-2014
I can still feel the tiny green 18-key Jungle Gear keyboard I got for Christmas as a lil dood. The piano could imitate other instruments: mandolin, organ, electric guitar; you could play along with the preset drumbeats, but I rejected them in preference of making my own. There was a kick, snare, hi-hat, and cymbal, and each of them had an alternate animal sound: dog, frog, duck, and bird, respectively. I’d swap the kick with a ribbit, the hi-hat with a chirp, and the snare with a bark. Ish was HEAVY.

12, 4/? || 09-01-2014

I can still feel the tiny green 18-key Jungle Gear keyboard I got for Christmas as a lil dood. The piano could imitate other instruments: mandolin, organ, electric guitar; you could play along with the preset drumbeats, but I rejected them in preference of making my own. There was a kick, snare, hi-hat, and cymbal, and each of them had an alternate animal sound: dog, frog, duck, and bird, respectively. I’d swap the kick with a ribbit, the hi-hat with a chirp, and the snare with a bark. Ish was HEAVY.


Jan 13
12, 3/? || 09-01-2014
But music was always there too. In elementary school, I listened to my CD player on the bus. I remember sampling my brother’s extensive punk collection and I remember MP3 CDs with 120 goddamn tracks on them. I couldn’t wait to wait because waiting meant music.

12, 3/? || 09-01-2014

But music was always there too. In elementary school, I listened to my CD player on the bus. I remember sampling my brother’s extensive punk collection and I remember MP3 CDs with 120 goddamn tracks on them. I couldn’t wait to wait because waiting meant music.


Jan 12
12, 2/? || 09-01-2014
Through narcissistic tantrums I try to retrace my steps to understand how and why I started dancing. Way before breaking, I dreamed of being a professional athlete. My dad told me I was born with a ball in my hand, interested in sports since before I could walk. First baseball, and then basketball. Neighborhood football games after school every afternoon. A random season of soccer. Ran track through high school. A bruised body buried in a grass-stained smile.

12, 2/? || 09-01-2014

Through narcissistic tantrums I try to retrace my steps to understand how and why I started dancing. Way before breaking, I dreamed of being a professional athlete. My dad told me I was born with a ball in my hand, interested in sports since before I could walk. First baseball, and then basketball. Neighborhood football games after school every afternoon. A random season of soccer. Ran track through high school. A bruised body buried in a grass-stained smile.


Jan 11
12, 1/? || 09-01-2014
Trained in the rec center hallway—old times. Nasty floor—make do. One song—mind set.
I’m developing comfort in 2000s at the expense of my lower right palm.
There is a sublime physical exchange in dance. I once protected myself from it, and then I instigated it. Now I’m learning to appreciate it for the process.

12, 1/? || 09-01-2014

Trained in the rec center hallway—old times. Nasty floor—make do. One song—mind set.

I’m developing comfort in 2000s at the expense of my lower right palm.

There is a sublime physical exchange in dance. I once protected myself from it, and then I instigated it. Now I’m learning to appreciate it for the process.


Jan 10
11 || 08-01-2014Hey get rhythmWhen you get the bluesC’mon get rhythmWhen you get the bluesGet a rock and roll feeling in your bonesPut taps on your toes and get goin’Get rhythmWhen you get the bluesA little shoe-shine boy he never gets low-down,But he’s got the dirtiest job in townBending low at the peoples’ feet,On a windy corner of a dirty streetWell I asked him while she shined my shoesHow’d he keep from getting the bluesHe grinned as he raised his little headHe popped a shoe-shine rag and he saidGet rhythmWhen you get the bluesC’mon get rhythmWhen you get the bluesA jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fineIt’ll shake all your troubles from your worried mindGet rhythmWhen you get the bluesGet rhythmWhen you get the bluesC’mon get rhythmWhen you get the bluesGet a rock and roll feeling in your bonesPut taps on your toes and get goin’Get rhythmWhen you get the bluesWell I had to listen to the shoe-shine boyAnd I thought I was gonna jump for joySlapped on the shoe polish left and rightHe took the shoe-shine rag and he held it tightHe stopped once to wipe the sweat awayI said you’re a mighty little boy to be a-workin’ that wayHe said I like it with a big wide grinKept on a-poppin’ and he said againGet rhythmWhen you get the bluesC’mon get rhythmWhen you get the bluesIt only costs a dime just a nickel a shoeIt does a million dollars worth of good for youGet rhythm!When you get the blues!-Johnny Cash

11 || 08-01-2014

Hey get rhythm
When you get the blues
C’mon get rhythm
When you get the blues

Get a rock and roll feeling in your bones
Put taps on your toes and get goin’
Get rhythm
When you get the blues

A little shoe-shine boy he never gets low-down,
But he’s got the dirtiest job in town
Bending low at the peoples’ feet,
On a windy corner of a dirty street

Well I asked him while she shined my shoes
How’d he keep from getting the blues
He grinned as he raised his little head
He popped a shoe-shine rag and he said

Get rhythm
When you get the blues
C’mon get rhythm
When you get the blues

A jumpy rhythm makes you feel so fine
It’ll shake all your troubles from your worried mind
Get rhythm
When you get the blues

Get rhythm
When you get the blues
C’mon get rhythm
When you get the blues

Get a rock and roll feeling in your bones
Put taps on your toes and get goin’
Get rhythm
When you get the blues

Well I had to listen to the shoe-shine boy
And I thought I was gonna jump for joy
Slapped on the shoe polish left and right
He took the shoe-shine rag and he held it tight
He stopped once to wipe the sweat away
I said you’re a mighty little boy to be a-workin’ that way
He said I like it with a big wide grin
Kept on a-poppin’ and he said again

Get rhythm
When you get the blues
C’mon get rhythm
When you get the blues

It only costs a dime just a nickel a shoe
It does a million dollars worth of good for you
Get rhythm!
When you get the blues!

-Johnny Cash


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